


investigator eiji callenreese's absurd plan

by jinkosun



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Private Investigators, and horny, ash is so smitten, eiji is a callenreese, eiji is fierce, i guess, i need to sleep, i wrote this for fun lmao, investigator!asheiji, stripper!eiji, they're husbands, this is for eiji thirst week lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25993297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinkosun/pseuds/jinkosun
Summary: Eiji was quiet—and when his husband falls silent, it means he’s thinking of a way how to investigate this case without them getting caught. Because being caught red handed would be dangerous and Eiji doesn’t like that. After a few minutes of hushed atmosphere, Eiji stood up from Ash’s lap, looking at him with determination and seriousness. “Right, I’ll work there as a stripper.”Ash stood up almost immediately, looking at his husband like he had lost his mind. His eyes are wide with evident fear and regret for this assignment. What did Eiji say? Is he joking? Should he wait for the sike? The blonde only stared, speechless.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 5
Kudos: 100





	investigator eiji callenreese's absurd plan

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda half assed im sorry hshs.
> 
> and i didnt proofread this because im sleepy.

Ash tiredly dragged his feet against the floors on the way to their front door, stressed over the meeting he just attended to. Being a professional (and perhaps well-known) investigator along with his loving husband, Eiji, is a tiring job. But at least it’s a tad bit tolerable considering that his partner in working is his husband. He was just told to pass the message of their new assignment to Eiji—which kind of excites him in some kind of way because one, he’ll get to see Eiji’s sexy thinking face as he formulates a probably risky strategy that would put both of them in danger. Two, he’ll get to hear how confident Eiji is when telling him his plan, how he’ll turn fierce and superior that’ll get any man or woman on their fucking knees.

Ash entered their sweet home, immediately spotting Eiji in the sofa, sitting prettily with a cup of tea on his hand whilst Ash’s shirt draped his body and it always seemed a little too big for him. If Ash could tweet at this moment, he would probably say: “ _Eiji, put your juicy monster colossal fat cock in my mouth right now._ ” Because that’s his thoughts exactly.

“Aslan, welcome home!”

But holy fuck. How can he stay horny when his husband is giving him that loving smile that can probably kill off all his simps? If Eiji ever tells them (including Ash) to walk on shards of glass or burning coal, he would immediately oblige like the smitten bitch he is. Because oh god, Eiji’s words are absolute like some kind of superior ruler and Ash—

“Aslan?” he was cut off from his definitely-not-horny train of thoughts when Eiji called his name. “Are you okay? You’re spacing out.” He pointed, worried.

Ash shooked his head, smiling at his husband. He walked towards him, planting a chaste kiss on Eiji’s rose-colored lips. “I’m fine. Was just starstruck by your beauty.”

Eiji’s cheeks turned into a light pink color, but he didn’t try to hide it. He always wants Ash to know what he feels towards him and how the blonde can easily catch him off-guard. “You must be tired; I should prepare the bed.” The Japanese said, standing up only to be pulled back by Ash—him now sitting on his lap.

“I am tired, but we have an assignment, we should probably talk about it so we can start it sooner.” Ash suggested, nuzzling his nose on Eiji’s neck.

“What is it about?” his husband asked, locking their fingers together which made Ash flush.

“We have to investigate a suspicious strip club for allegedly smuggling illegal drugs, selling them to their customers, and drugging the drinks which leads to a lot of cases such as non-consensual sex.” He explained, not amused. “It’s going to be a hard case, as always.”

Eiji was quiet—and when his husband falls silent, it means he’s thinking of a way how to investigate this case without them getting caught. Because being caught red handed would be dangerous and Eiji doesn’t like that. After a few minutes of hushed atmosphere, Eiji stood up from Ash’s lap, looking at him with determination and seriousness. “Right, I’ll work there as a stripper.”

Ash stood up almost immediately, looking at his husband like he had lost his mind. His eyes are wide with evident fear and regret for this assignment. What did Eiji say? Is he joking? Should he wait for the sike? The blonde only stared, speechless.

“Look, working as an undercover agent disguised as a stripper would be beneficial in retrieving information, not to mention I can catch the culprit in question anytime.” Eiji stated, like it’s the most obvious thing.

Still this plan didn’t sit right with Ash, not only is it risky—it’s dangerous. He can get hurt without him coming for his rescue. He took his husband’s hands, getting ready to coax him out of this. He can tell their boss that Eiji felt uneasy with the job, he would agree instantly since he favors him so much, only if his charm can work though. “Eiji, _darling_ , this is a precarious strategy you’re proposing to me. Plus, we don’t necessarily have to accept any assignment given to us. If this disturbs you—”

“Who said I was disturbed?” Eiji cut off, head tilting slightly. Oh, _fuck_ he looks so serious about this. Ash felt like he’ll faint at any given time. “The only thing disturbing me from this is the fact that a lot of people are getting harassed and I don’t like that. I took this job to help people, you know that better than anyone, Aslan.” He remarked, voice dangerously laced with venom.

Ash gulped. “Y-yes, darling—but you being a stri—”

“And what’s wrong with being a stripper, Ash?” he snapped.

He fell silent, sensing the fierceness in Eiji’s tone. He stepped on something; he knows he had. He pursed his lips, looking at Eiji’s dark orbs that held a spine-chilling vibe that Ash doesn’t really find pleasing. A pissed spouse is a scary one, any married man or woman knows not to agitate their spouse.

“E-eiji—”

“Being a stripper is not a demoralizing job, Ash. And I’m very capable of protecting myself, we’ve been working together for ten years now,” Eiji’s gaze softened, probably realizing that Ash is just worried. He rests his forehead against his husband, smiling softly. “Trust me. Have I ever failed you, darling?”

Ash wanted to devour him right then and there. Jesus Christ, why does this man had to be effortlessly fucking sexy? He kissed him, chuckling right after. “Fine, fine. But—we’re setting boundaries.”

So, the night went on with them discussing boundaries. Ash would visit the club everyday to check up on Eiji and be his customer to talk about what information he gets, in which his husband agrees on. Though, Ash is the only customer he’s allowed to accept. The plan will proceed two days after and Ash would start visiting it next week or the other week, depends on Eiji’s go signal. The Japanese explained all of this in detail and strictness which made Ash aroused—hence, they ended up having hot sex. These two, I swear to god.

* * *

**_THE OTHER WEEK, DAY 4 OF ASH’S VISITATION._ **

****

Ash walked in the noisy club that reeked of sweat and alcohol, his face morphing into a grossed-out expression. He only came to a club once and never again—it smells like people, everyone seemed mucky, and most importantly, they’re not Eiji. But now he has made considerations only because his husband is here as undercover (and maybe the thought that he wants to see Eiji in a stripper outfit too). He seated in the bar counter, ordering a drink that he’ll get samples from, just in case. He tied his long blonde hair into a half-ponytail to get it out of his line of sight, he needs to find his beloved husband now and keep an eye on him, _again._

He averted his gaze, examining the club with cat-like eyes. There are people chattering, drinking, and flirting. His attention went to the person in the stage—and his jaw almost dropped on the floor when he saw his husband in bizarre yet seducing clothing (he’s surprised that it’s still catching him off-guard). Oh to see without his goddamn eyes but he’s got to keep an eye out for Okumura. He blinked a few times, processing the clothes that draped Eiji’s body. He’s specifically wearing a white crop-top shirt, revealing his toned abs (“I feel like fainting” Ash whispered), paired with shorts that exposed eighty-five percent of his ass (Ash is whispering prayers at this point), and high heeled boots—his face caked with glittery make-up. Ash hated how pretty his husband looks right now literally fucking dancing in that stage like a whore.

“No, he’s _my_ whore.” Ash mumbled, mainly to himself. He felt like crying and dragging Eiji home because how dare he share his beauty with other men beside him? The thought is upsetting, this is the first time he regrets trusting Eiji in a mission. He rubbed his face, (sexually) frustrated. He just wanted this day and this fucking assignment to end. Though, one thing he learned from this is not to accept preposterous cases. He’s not putting Eiji in this situation again.

_“But why does it seem like he’s enjoying this so much? He’s so fucking mean, why did I even marry this sadist?”_

A loud noise snapped him out of his internal monologue, and he almost pulled out his gun—but he saw his husband pointing a dagger at a man right in front of him. O my god did he do something? Did he touch Eiji? As he was about to back him up, he spoke: “You’re under arrest for illegal usage and smuggling of drugs.” He stated so confidently Ash wanted to run over there and question his choices.

But suddenly two police officers came out of hiding and went to place a handcuff on the man’s wrist. At this point, Ash’s jaw is definitely on the floor now. What the fuck is happening? Everything is escalating so fast, faster than eminem’s rapping. The man proceeded to shout “you don’t have any proof” yadda yadda, but Eiji pulled out a brown folder containing all the concrete evidence he retrieved and compiled in a short span of time, and the men fell silent.

Ash’s eyes widened. Holy fucking shit, this is actually and honestly so scary, Eiji is a fucking monster. A gorgeous one at that—and he’s so fierce and confident. He thought he had already fallen hard enough, but he’s so fucking wrong. He watched as Eiji approached him, looking visibly exhausted yet glad. “The job is finally done.” He said, wrapping his arms around Ash’s neck. “I missed you, Aslan. Let’s go home, let the police handle this.”

He’s definitely going to let the police handle this and go home with his beloved husband just so they can do the ooh lala. He chuckled, arms snaking around Eiji’s waist as he pulled him closer. “You’re finally resigning.”

“I am.” Eiji giggles. “Let’s go home, Aslan. I know you’re hungry.” He stated, voice kind of _arousing_.

And so, they went home, and jesus, they DID do the ooh lala. But one thing that Ash enjoyed in all this demise, is he got to see Eiji in stripper clothing—which is sexy if he says so himself.

**Author's Note:**

> ash being horny for eiji is me tbh.
> 
> i forgot the thigh worshipping but i'll save that for next time.


End file.
